Yep, I did.
My little (well 13lb) seven week old baby stayed a full night at Nana and Grandad's on Saturday night, and i'm in no way ashamed to tell you all.
I was absolutely riddled with guilt as soon as I drove off, which is the worst feeling in the world. I felt like I didn't deserve the break, that it was a burden to my parents, and that I was the worst Mum in the world. It took me a good two hours to not feel tense, but with a couple of drinks down the hatch I started to loosen up. I have to tell you, I had such a lovely evening, BUT there was a serious issue...
With leaving a good supply of milk behind with my Mum for my bottomless pit of a stomach baby I was feeling empty-boobed (new word I have made) So we get to our event at about 8pm, after attempting to take about 300 selfies, which by the way I have totally lost my knack for so much so that my best friend was in stitches at my pathetic attempt to pose, anyway.. At around 10.30pm I could feel my boob getting seriously engorged, so much so that my best pal had said "look at the difference" through my top! So off I went to the loo where I siphoned as much as possibly could off down the loo, I mean lets be honest, the glamorous days of me going to the toilets to check my make up or reapply, those days are OVER, I go for another reason now. So with an emptyish boob, I proceeded to enjoy my night, until 1.30am.
1.30am came, and lets just say, I looked like someone had chucked water all over my top, utterly embarrassing, but hopefully nobody noticed anyhow, by this time it was about 6 hours past my bedtime and I had just about enough of trying to make conversation.
I enjoyed my break. I really did, and lie-ins are non existent because my body clock is just way to accurate now. Not only did my boobs miss my baby, I did terribly, and as bad as it sounds, I am used to leaving my 3 year old, she goes every weekend. Leaving my newborn was totally weird and not hearing farts and hiccups from the cot was all a bit strange. I feel that the eyes around the room of people I knew were defiantly judging me though, thinking "what is she doing out" so if you are reading this, and you were wondering that, let me tell you why I was out. I needed a break, I needed a little bit of time to feel 'normal', last week I was really stressed, so much so I was feeling down, which is somewhere I would rather not be. I have come to a conclusion, leaving my kids does NOT make me a bad Mum.
I am as good as a Mum as anybody, I just needed a break.
My advice to anybody struggling to leave their babies, because of guilt. I know its hard, it is, it sucks, but you will feel relief, even if it is for an hour. There is nothing wrong with that.
I hope everyone is enjoying the crappy bank holiday weather, happy Monday
x
My little (well 13lb) seven week old baby stayed a full night at Nana and Grandad's on Saturday night, and i'm in no way ashamed to tell you all.
I was absolutely riddled with guilt as soon as I drove off, which is the worst feeling in the world. I felt like I didn't deserve the break, that it was a burden to my parents, and that I was the worst Mum in the world. It took me a good two hours to not feel tense, but with a couple of drinks down the hatch I started to loosen up. I have to tell you, I had such a lovely evening, BUT there was a serious issue...
With leaving a good supply of milk behind with my Mum for my bottomless pit of a stomach baby I was feeling empty-boobed (new word I have made) So we get to our event at about 8pm, after attempting to take about 300 selfies, which by the way I have totally lost my knack for so much so that my best friend was in stitches at my pathetic attempt to pose, anyway.. At around 10.30pm I could feel my boob getting seriously engorged, so much so that my best pal had said "look at the difference" through my top! So off I went to the loo where I siphoned as much as possibly could off down the loo, I mean lets be honest, the glamorous days of me going to the toilets to check my make up or reapply, those days are OVER, I go for another reason now. So with an emptyish boob, I proceeded to enjoy my night, until 1.30am.
1.30am came, and lets just say, I looked like someone had chucked water all over my top, utterly embarrassing, but hopefully nobody noticed anyhow, by this time it was about 6 hours past my bedtime and I had just about enough of trying to make conversation.
I enjoyed my break. I really did, and lie-ins are non existent because my body clock is just way to accurate now. Not only did my boobs miss my baby, I did terribly, and as bad as it sounds, I am used to leaving my 3 year old, she goes every weekend. Leaving my newborn was totally weird and not hearing farts and hiccups from the cot was all a bit strange. I feel that the eyes around the room of people I knew were defiantly judging me though, thinking "what is she doing out" so if you are reading this, and you were wondering that, let me tell you why I was out. I needed a break, I needed a little bit of time to feel 'normal', last week I was really stressed, so much so I was feeling down, which is somewhere I would rather not be. I have come to a conclusion, leaving my kids does NOT make me a bad Mum.
I am as good as a Mum as anybody, I just needed a break.
My advice to anybody struggling to leave their babies, because of guilt. I know its hard, it is, it sucks, but you will feel relief, even if it is for an hour. There is nothing wrong with that.
I hope everyone is enjoying the crappy bank holiday weather, happy Monday
x
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