The Mum Caked In Crap

Happy pregnancy, here.. have hideous sickness.  1. It IS NOT the same as morning sickness - morning sickness subsides or will come and go a few times a day. Gravidum hyperemisis stays with you all day  2. There is a cut off point - If you are suffering terribly and struggling you can seek Medical help from a healthcare professional. You can be given medications to help  3. It can land you in hospital - way before your due date HG can land you in a hospital bed, simply through horrific dehydration  4. Day to day activities are nearly impossible - emptying a bin? Forget it, HG means you can barely lift your head off of the pillow  5. The back ache is real - The straining from being sick constantly takes it toll on your back, always make sure you try not too strain over the toilet for too long (if you can help)  6. The headaches are real - Hungover? Nope, it's just a massive migraine from the constant strain on your head, and the dehydration  ...

The best things in life are free. Totally cliche' but totally true. Father's Day for me usually sucks, I lost my Dad in 2007 to a road accident, and since then it's been the crappest day for me, but lately I've been thinking with a different mindset. Usually I spend my Fathering Sunday, moping around feeling like a jealous mess because everyone is posting about what a fantastic time they are all having with their Dads. This year, I changed my mindset, you see my Dad was one of these people that would live every day to the best of their ability. Some days he could be a grumpy goat, but all Papas are sometimes. The sun was beaming down in England Sunday, and temperatures of 30 degrees (what I like to call scorching) weather made an appearance. So instead of being stuck indoors worrying about all of the posts on Facebook of everyone having meals and sharing their gifts, I got out. To be honest, it was one of the best days I've ever had. It was a special joint c...

Happy Fathers Day, from the two hurricanes in your life. Remember when we were 17? We would lay in bed, and speak about our future? I do to, I specifically remember us both saying that "we'll have children once we're married" because that's the proper way', well you know that didn't really work out, I'm glad. I'm glad we had our babies when we did, I'm glad our first baby came as a surprise, she was the sunshine after a storm wasn't she. I'm glad our second baby finally decided to plant itself into my womb, I know we were getting worried, we got there in the end. I always wondered what you would be like as a father, but only a few years into our relationship, I didn't expect you to actually be one. You are a fantastic Dad, even if you can't manage a nappy change without covering our little boys socks in shit. In our younger days, when we used to wander around fields holding hands like a loved up pair of birds, it didn...

OMG, what a week.  If you have been visiting my page waiting for me to upload something new, I truly can't apologise enough, but last week was bleddy hard work, it turns out having two children can be seriously exhausting and straining.  Before I start moaning on to you, lets just get one thing straight, I love my children more than the world (how cliche') but, I dont suppose anyone will lend me a few quid for a sunny holiday? I dont even want to take my fiance' just pay for me?  Okay so, Faith was really starting to become accustomed to Rupert living with us, I get it, I make him sound like a lodger. Things were going really well, until I am sure that someone must've given her a potion or something in a sandwich and if i could name the potion it would be 'Screaming banshee'. If one more person tells me its a phase, I to may take the potion and go to town on them.  Phases happen, I get phases myself. Sometimes I have a chocolate phase, sometimes I have a...

Work was busy, it was boiling hot.  The appointment book was overflowing and my headache was getting beyond a joke, as an elderly lady walked in with her powdery perfume floating through the air I let out a small gagging noise. In my head it was that "I just didn't like her perfume". As the morning went on I continued to feel sick. When I say sick, like you know when you've been out for too many vodka's and that fluttery tummy feeling doesn't subside? Yeah that sort of sick.. At the time I was working with my Mum at a hair salon. Now for the record, my Mum is my very best friend, she truly is. So I told her that I was due on my period that day, but I felt sick, headache, and as for that perfume scenario, urgh.  Now, when people say that you're Mother is always right, they really are. Off she went to the pharmacy, she brought back two tests with her. Wee on stick one (and two) just to be sure, leave a minute, check... negative. "I told you I wasn...

Ah motherhood, predictable... 1. Take 3000 pictures - 2000 of them are the same but hey, every single one is cute. 2. Check breathing, relax, check breathing relax. 3. Check temperature, relax, check temperature, relax. 4. Sit and stare at the baby and think, how the eff did that come out? 5. Say to everyone who visits "I can't believe how much they've changed already" 6. Wonder how one tiny human produces so much washing, like, tons! 7. Inspect each new poo for nasties, just in case, if worried google "what should newborn poo look like" 8. Get ridiculously upset when it's time to ditch the tiny baby clothes (maybe try and squeeze in one outfit one more time) 9. Compare your newborn to your Great Great Great Great Auntie because Granny said they looked alike 10. Regret all of the useless gadgets and gizmos that you brought that thought would help x